Dear Dr. Mom,
After years of marriage, or even after a stressful period, you may start to feel like your husband is a stranger. Or is it that you feel he’s getting stranger? Either way, here are 5 simple ways to stay connected to your husband.
1. Cook a meal together.
Whether it’s breakfast or dinner it doesn’t matter, as long as you’re spending time together. How about getting up early Sunday morning and making a big old-fashioned Sunday breakfast for you and the kids? Or sending the kids to a sitter and preparing a nice romantic dinner together? You’ll save money fixing the meal at home rather than dining out. Plus, you won’t have to get “all dolled up” (unless you want to). Most importantly, you’ll be using teamwork, which is the number one priority for any marriage.
2. Take on a project and get dirty!
Tackle a big and messy job on your list – cleaning out the garage, pulling up shrubs in the yard, organizing the attic. Make an afternoon of it and do it together! You’ll both feel a great sense of accomplishment that the job is finally done and it’ll feel great to know that you got it done by operating as a unit. Now that you’ve worked up a sweat, why not draw a bath for two?
3. Spend a lazy afternoon going through old photos and reminiscing.
Talk about the activities you used to do when you first started dating and make a plan to start doing them again. You might not be able to do them all, but make the effort to do as many of them as you can, whether it is taking long walks, going to concerts, or making out at the movies.
4. Play hooky!
Plan a day where you can each stay home from work and spend the whole day home – alone – together – doing absolutely nothing! Lay in bed all day, cuddle, and watch movies. Make sure to turn the ringer off on the phone.
5. Make an effort on a daily basis to stay connected to your husband.
Listen, ask questions – be his partner in all aspects of your life. Something as simple as making it a point to say, “How was your day, Honey?” every day when he gets home and listening to his response can make all the difference.
The most important thing to remember is that you are not in your marriage by yourself. Share your concerns with your husband if you’re not feeling quite as close as you once did. Let him know how you feel, how it makes you feel and that you want to work on it.
Chances are your husband will be clueless, but once he realizes you’re genuinely concerned, he’ll jump right in and make more of an effort. Good luck!
- Why I love my husband – the never ending list (couponingwithintegrity.com)
- Our Marriage | How we make it work (mrslayden.wordpress.com)
- What the Books Don’t Tell You – Life Lessons in Parenting (swordsoftruth.com)